Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Sick at Heart Part 1

Have compassion on me, Lord, for I am weak,
 Heal me, Lord, for my body is in agony.
I’m sick at heart.
How long, o Lord, until you restore me?
Psalm 6:2-3

Another nightmare….

So close, but so far…

You where there, but just out of reach…

My daughter, my heart…

Your little sister reminds daddy and I of you. You guys would be such good friends! Do you know she loves Elmo now too? She twirls around like a ballerina, just like you my little ballerina.

Your Christmas presents still sit there.

My soul hurts! The pain is suffocating, it threatens to consume me.

I hear the blare for a code blue over the hospital intercom and it reminds me to count my blessings and how merciful God is.

But, I found myself sobbing all the way home in the quite of the car.

The sobs awoke me from another dream as you slipped out of reach.

My God my Savior, my soul is screaming, and clawing it way out of this deep, dark hole!

I am crying out to YOU my Lord! Please, rescue me from this pain!

I’m terrified to forget her, yet feel as if my heart can’t take the pain.

Please God…I’m suffocating…

How long must I struggle with the anguish in my soul?
Psalm 13: 2a
Turn and answer me, O Lord my God.
Restore the light in my eyes, or I will die.
Psalm 13:3

For His Glory,


  1. What a great post! Visiting from Women in the Word Wednesday!


  2. Prayers for you friend. I have had seasons of these awful feelings. God rescue me! You say you are a God who loves sinners- WHY aren't you fixing it NOW?

    If you are waiting for the solution, sorry, I don't have one to give you. I don't know why His children have to go through days like this, and feel such pain like this.

    I will say though, that He is near you and He does care for you... even if, right now, you can't feel it. Keep on clinging to His grace and His Word, despite everything your feelings say.

    And know that you are not the first child of God to struggle with this.

    Even king David had these days.
    Prayers for you...
    Emily (new follower)

  3. PS
    You may appreciate this post :)

  4. Christen, I think maybe He's given you blogging to help ease the pain - or to at least help you work through it. Thank you for sharing - I know God will use it for good in your life and for others - He loves you! God bless-


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