Thursday, May 31, 2012

"And let him rebuke me"

David anointed with oil

Let the righteous strike me;
it shall be a kindness.
And let him rebuke me;
it shall be as excellent oil;
let my head not refuse it.
Psalm 141:5

     Upon reading Psalm 141:5 this morning, I am struck by David's heart! David is wise and 

humble enough to ASK God to bring people (not just any people, but righteous people) into 

his life to rebuke him! He is wise enough to know and want to be corrected when he has 

done wrong or is not thinking in a godly way. He sees that rebuke as kindness and as an 

excellent oil upon his head. Then he asks God to help him not to refuse it. I am struck by 

the wisdom of David's heart!

     I don't know about you, but I have never asked God to bring righteous people into my 

life to rebuke me! I have asked God to bring godly and righteous people (particularly 

women) into my life to guide and teach me to be a godly women, wife, and mother. But, I 

have never thought, or been humble enough to ask God to bring women into my life to 

rebuke me. I don't want to be prideful and of course want to be gently rebuked if I am 

doing, acting, or thinking in an ungodly way, though it stings and technically I don't like it! 

But I want to be a women after God's own heart, even if that means from time to time I 

have to have the sting of being rebuked. 


  How about you...have you asked God to bring righteous people into your life to rebuke 

you?! Perhaps we need to stop and humble our hearts and ask God for that! Do you see 

righteous correction and rebukement as a good thing, as an act of kindness, as David put it?

       For His Glory,

Monday, May 28, 2012

Happy Memorial Day!

On this day of family, friends, parades  and picnics, let’s remember the sacrifice’s that have been made for this day of remembrance and celebration. There is nothing wrong with spending the weekend camping, having picnic’s, or just spending time together with family friends. But we should not forget that today is a day to remember the sacrifices our military men and women have made, are making, and will make!

And I’m proud to be an American,

where at least I know I’m free.

And I wont forget the men who died,

who gave that right to me.

Though I might not agree with things going on in our country, I am still very thankful for our military's sacrifice past, present and future. I am thankful that my Grandfather fought in WWII and miss him terribly! I'm thankful for our families good friend Louie, who was shot by a sniper, almost died and has lost his left arm! I am thankful to an uncle who fought in Vietnam and who is now so affect by PTSD, that he cannot live a "normal" life! I am thankful to a friends husband/father who died in Afghanistan. I am thankful to the men and women who leave their families to go and fight for us to live free! 

Thank you!

A soldier (any military branch) died for our freedom. Christ died for the freedom of our souls!

I am so thankful to God, that he sacrificed His only Son, for us!!!

By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.
1 John 3:16

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends.
John 15:13

Thank you Lord for your Son, that I might live eternally! 

Thank you to our military that I might live freely in this country!

For His glory,

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Sick at Heart Part 1

Have compassion on me, Lord, for I am weak,
 Heal me, Lord, for my body is in agony.
I’m sick at heart.
How long, o Lord, until you restore me?
Psalm 6:2-3

Another nightmare….

So close, but so far…

You where there, but just out of reach…

My daughter, my heart…

Your little sister reminds daddy and I of you. You guys would be such good friends! Do you know she loves Elmo now too? She twirls around like a ballerina, just like you my little ballerina.

Your Christmas presents still sit there.

My soul hurts! The pain is suffocating, it threatens to consume me.

I hear the blare for a code blue over the hospital intercom and it reminds me to count my blessings and how merciful God is.

But, I found myself sobbing all the way home in the quite of the car.

The sobs awoke me from another dream as you slipped out of reach.

My God my Savior, my soul is screaming, and clawing it way out of this deep, dark hole!

I am crying out to YOU my Lord! Please, rescue me from this pain!

I’m terrified to forget her, yet feel as if my heart can’t take the pain.

Please God…I’m suffocating…

How long must I struggle with the anguish in my soul?
Psalm 13: 2a
Turn and answer me, O Lord my God.
Restore the light in my eyes, or I will die.
Psalm 13:3

For His Glory,

Monday, May 21, 2012

Going Home

Josiah's wonderful nurse attending to him.

Can I tell you a secret?!

I’m scared to go home tomorrow! I’ve never felt this way! I miss my girls and want to see them, but I feel so inadequate to care for Josiah.

The nurse thinks’ I’m silly. She says there’s no extra work. But he’s uncomfortable and he cannot snuggle the way he likes to, due to his swollen, stitched up lips!

I’m scared I’ll hurt him trying to clean it or what if something happens and the stitches tear? He has a deep cough, what if it get’s worse and he has to be hospitalized?

The fears and worries swirl around me! But God is bigger then all that!! Praise the LORD! *smile*

I know ultimately it will be ok! I am resting in my Father’s arms and I’m trusting in His goodness.

Have you been scared of a particular situation?

For His Glory,

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Zany Morning and God's Good Things

No Fuel, Cayman Brac

“If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children,
How much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things
to those who ask Him!”
Matt. 7:11

The night before my son’s surgery, I’m sound asleep and all of a sudden I wake and notice it seems a little light out. That’s weird, I’m suppose to get up at 3:30, it should be still dark and the alarm hasn’t gone off….wait what time is it?! 4:47am!!!! I’m supposed to be on the road by 4:30am to get to the hospital on time!!

Talk about panic mode! Well, I had to stop for gas (yes, foolish me for not filling it up the night before) and was very stressed over it. I was hurriedly trying to put in $30 (exactly) in, all the while praying over the whole situation. At some random amount in the $20’s, I thought, “forget it! I don’t have time! This is enough to get me there.” Well turned to hang up the nozzle and much to my surprise (once again, how foolish of me to be surprised by God)…$30 EXACTLY had been put in!! I could just see God smiling at me, in the midst of my stress and questioning and gently reminding me that HE is HERE and that HE CARES!

I wish I could say that I calmed down and no longer fretted, but that’s not true. I was still worried we wouldn’t make it on time. I kept praying and asking God to not let us be more then 15 minutes late and well we got to the Pre-Op office at around  6:13am! *smile*

I am thankful for God’s “little” blessings! He never ceases to amaze me with the "good things" He gives and provides us with!

In what way has God blessed you? What "good thing" has He bestowed upon you?

 For His glory,

Friday, May 18, 2012

Happy 8th Month Birthday

Josiah sleeping peacefully.

I will praise You, O Lord, with my whole heart; I will tell of all your marvelous works.
I will be glad and rejoice in You; I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High
Psalm 9:1-2.

Happy 8th month birthday, Josiah Benjamin!!

We are so THANKFUL to God that he has blessed our family by adding you!

There was a time when we where not sure that you would live long enough to join us here on earth. But God is so MERCIFUL and allowed you to stay in mommy’s womb long enough to survive!

It certainly was by the GRACE of God, because had you come any sooner you most likely would have died!

It has been a struggle and scary at times.

God made you a little fighter (the nurses and doctors all agree with that), which has given you the strength to fight, grow and thrive each step of the way! *smile*

As I gaze into those handsome, sparkling blue eyes of yours and laugh at you smiling up at me, the nurses and I marvel at how you always have such a joyful, sweet disposition each and every time.

I can not wait to hold you and kiss that blond, fluffy head of yours and inhale your baby smell some more.

I’m sorry you had to spend the morning of your birthday in surgery. But wanted to tell you how proud and thankful I am of/for you!

As I handed you over to the nurse, I am putting my hope and trust in the LORD that you will come out of your surgeries safe and sound.

I know our days are numbered here on earth and that this life is not our home. I am still thankful to the Lord for giving us such a sweet baby boy and pray you will have a long and prosperous life and that Dad and I will raise you to be a God fearing man!

Some may think it’s silly to wish you a happy 8th month birthday, but we know all too well that life on this earth is fleeting so we want to celebrate each milestone and well…Happy Birthday my son!

 For His Glory,

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Surgery II

Little man is still happy even after not being allowed to eat. :)

            The day is finally here! My son is having his “second” surgery (second since coming home from the NICU).

            Yesterday was mingled with preparations, excitement, nerves, exhaustion, and anticipation.

            It felt like this morning would never come and I couldn’t imagine how I would ever fall asleep.

            One by one my two girls and I came down with colds (still not convinced that it’s not allergies) and was worried that Josiah would get sick.
1.      It could be life threatening to him and he could be hospitalized.
2.      It could prevent the surgery and postpone it to a later date.

We didn’t want either of those things to happen! Praise the Lord, God kept him
safe! He sounded a little sniffily, but his stats are great and they said his lung sound clear, so they gave the green light.

            Today he is having 3 surgeries. Which are:

1.      The lathim device is being removed.
2.      They are taking out the PEG tube and putting in a more “mature” styled, Mikki tube.
3.      Then Plastic surgery is doing the first lip repair for his cleft lip.

We are excited once the device is removed, we can start to move forward with stimulating his oral feeds. He exclusively eats through the tube, which is not good.

            The PEG tube was long and he was starting to grab at it., we didn’t want him to pulled it out! The Mikki tube is more work for me, but better for him. *smile*

            So excited that we are moving forward with repairing th cleft lip and palate. It’s bitter sweet, he is sooooo darn cute and it’s weird to imagine him looking any different. Psst…can I tell you a secret?! I’m scared to see him! He’s going to look different. I’m expecting him to have stitches on his lips and last time he had a crazy scared look on his face after waking up from the anesthesia.  But, it’s for the better! He still has two more surgeries to go within this first year.

            Please keep our little man in prayer, that there will be no complications, everything will heal quickly, and he won’t be in a lot of pain (they had to be careful with the pain meds, since he was born so very early)! Thank you!

What are you all doing today?

I see you! Josiah in Pre-Op.

For His glory,

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