Wednesday, September 19, 2012

One Year Later Part 3

     For those of you just joining this is day 3 of a week long series on my son's story so far.

     After a month at my parents house my husband flew home for a weekend. I spent that Sat in bed at our apartment, while he took care of the girls and I. That night I was in a lot of pain and couldn’t sleep, so my husband took me to the E.R. Everything seemed normal, so they sent me home. A few hours later I woke up to blood all over the bed and when I went to the bathroom I left a trail. Back to the E.R. we went! After 2 ultrasounds; many hours waiting for answers; and the hospital trying to reach my midwife and the hospital I was suppose to deliver at, I was informed… that my uterus was full of son would dieif I started hemorrhaging there I would bleed to death (they didn't have enough blood on hand to save me). Thankfully a better equipped hospital was willing to take me as their patient. They had enough blood on hand for the transfusion I was told I would need and they are more experienced. Looking back I see God’s hand in everything, from them believing my uterus was full of blood, to my husband being home that weekend.


                I was then rushed by ambulance into Boston (an 1 ½ hour drive with no traffic). I had to sign a consent that stated we wouldn’t hold the EMT liable if I died along the way. I remember begging God for the life of our son and having peace, but also terrified. I also remember hugging my husband and two girls good bye and wondered if that was the last time I would see them?! The EMT’s were clearly nervous and informed me that if I became unstable, they would go to the nearest hospital for treatment. I felt so numb; I couldn’t wrap my brain around everything and also couldn’t have handled it at that moment. Every time we went under a bridge the siren made a wailing sound and I remember thinking that was the sound my heart was making!!! Please God save our son!

     Praise God for Saint Elizabeth’s Hospital!! Immediately their staff was so much better, they helped calm my nerves and I immediately loved the doctor that agreed to take me on! She brought an ultrasound machine right to my bed and immediately calmed my nerves. She discovered my uterus was NOT full of blood! Praise God! She had a hunch my water broke, which they discovered was indeed the case. Due to the bleeding it had stressed my body out and caused my water to break. God is sooooo good!! I found out the earlier your water breaks the most likely you will stay pregnant longer (go figure).

                I had to stay on bed rest at the hospital for the remainder of my pregnancy and they wanted me to lie on my side to help my uterus retain as much fluid as possible (which is NOT comfortable 24/7). Things didn’t suddenly go smoothly and problem free. It was lonely; I hardly saw our daughters or anyone for that matter. My husband took our one year old daughter down to MS with him and my sister in-laws and mother in-law helped care for her while he worked. My mother took my oldest and cared for her. Thank you all for caring for my girls as your own!! *smile* My husband would fly in on the weekends which helped make the week go by faster. My uterus wasn’t retaining enough fluid for our son’s lungs to develop properly, it kept leaking out. When your water breaks there is no barrier to protect you or the baby, so I was monitored 24/7 for any signs of labor or infection (infection can cause you to go into labor). I struggled with feeling grumpy, from constantly being woken up.

Dakota visiting me at the hospital. :)
      About 2 weeks in, the nurse was helping me settle into my bed to eat dinner (I could only get up to use the restroom and take short showers). Out of nowhere I was in intense pain and it wouldn't go away! I’m still not sure exactly what happened…it was all so fast and I was in so much pain. The short of it is, I became unstable, was dilating (it was too soon for our son to survive!), but there was no sign of infection (praise God!). I would feel panic and at those moments I would hand our son’s life over to God the giver and taker of life. When I would do that I would have “peace that surpasses all understanding”

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your

 requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will 

guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:6-7

     They told me they could give me something that should stop the dilating and hopefully stabilize me.  But a doctor that I had never met before was concerned about a possible infection later. He stated we could kill our son (in his word’s abort him) and save my uterus or take the meds and put both of us and my uterus at risk. I remember sobbing and saying I wanted my husband! A nurse was so sweet she helped me call my husband on the phone and they took over from there. The next thing I knew was I was semi waking up with excruciating back spasms (due to the meds). The next day I awoke to find out I was still pregnant! Praise God!! But was on STRICK bed rest for 2 days (a catheter was place and everything)!! It was decided that it would take a miracle of God to make it to 24 weeks. It's "funny" with my other pregnancies I didn't necessarily pay attention to how many weeks I was along, let alone days...but with Josiah was anxiously counted down each and EVERY day. Each one counted. 

     Many, many people where praying for God to have mercy and save both our son and I, people half way around the world, that I didn’t even know. I got such sweet letters, with words of encouragement and verses. God is so MERCIFUL! My tear healed while I was in the hospital! My placenta previa cleared up (shortly before I went into labor) so the worry about bleeding to death was gone! Actually we learned that if Josiah wasn't breach I could birth naturally (which i prayed for). God allowed me to be pregnant a few more weeks and at 24 weeks and 5 days, I went into labor (any sooner than 24 weeks and he wouldn’t have survived).I can't tell you what rejoicing we had when I reached 24 weeks! What a relief! Our ultimate goal was to get to 32 weeks (which they said would be a miracle). I had been worried that something would happen when my husband was not there and once again God is so GOOD

      My husband had flown in late the night before and that Saturday we finally got to visit the NICU (they had been too busy before. Once again I can now see God’s timing) and met some of the parents. All day I had been feeling funny (which wasn’t unusual), around dinner time, I told the nurse I was having contractions, the problem was it wasn’t showing up on the monitor. The doctor was busy and couldn’t come right away and I kept insisting that something wasn’t right and that I was having contractions. Within 2 hours I was in full blown labor being wheeled about to and fro, trying to get an I.V. into me and to find out if he was breach or not. 

The following verse is the verse God gave me while I was on bed rest and I clung to this verse and read it over and over again:

For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for theefor my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 

     Josiah was breach and had to have an emergency c-section (I never want one again, I reacted to it and had the WORSE headaches ever due to swelling on the spine). I remember thinking how quite it was when he was born, no baby cries and I had no idea if he was alive or dead.  Praise the Lord; he was alive, though they did have trouble getting him to breath at first. Our little man was born 3 ½ months early and only weighed 2 lbs 6 oz, but he lived!            

Tomorrow I will share our story of Josiah living in the NICU and having a special needs baby. 
Have you ever had the peace that surpasses all understanding? Have you ever had a baby in the NICU? I would love to hear about it! See you tomorrow...

If you missed the first two click here:
 Part 1      Part 2

For His Glory,

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