Struggles

Are you weary? I am weary.

I know I have been MIA for a while. *smile* The past few months have been very hard. How could I write on a blog when I am struggling so much myself? So I haven't written anything.

After reading another bloggers confession of struggling in life and other women telling her it is OK. They would love for her to share and be honest with her struggles. It gave me the courage that  it's ok...my life doesn't have to be perfect to write. I can share some of my struggles. I don't want to gossip or slander, especially my marriage, which it can be a fine line between trying to share those struggles, but not give too much info (while trying to get across the hurt, etc) or vent. That would not be God honoring. I think it would be worse to make it sound like everything is great and I have it all together, then to be more open.

Because I'm NOT perfect. I'm a work in progress...striving to be more Christ like. My walk with the Lord is not perfect...I make mistakes all the time as a mom...and I find "this whole marriage thing" to be really, really hard! It's been almost a year since living together and as time goes on, that I constantly fall short as a wife.

Here is where I'm a:

A few days into September, I found out we had not paid rent and there was no more money. Long story short we moved in with my parents at the very last moment. We are living in the second story of my parents garage (it's finished), though the bathroom and kitchenette aren't finished, so we are also in their house.

My husband still doesn't have a job. Which brings on fear and stress itself. He went down to MS for 3 1/2 weeks during the month of Oct. to work for family. Which was a blessing! It allowed us to pay the monthly bills that month and it give us some needed time apart (at least I did).

I have been struggling with our situation and in my marriage. Things my husband thinks and has said, takes my breath away and hurts. Honestly I feel so lonely in my marriage!

I have also struggled with being depressed. That is SOOOO hard and scary to admit let alone write down. But it's true...it physically hurt to be around people, such as going to church. All I wanted to do was cry and sleep. I am questioning everything, yet I know God is in control and still trust Him, though I don't fully understand. I don't think I'm depressed anymore, I feel better, I am still so burnt out though.

Through it all, through all the pain...God is still in control! He has been gently reminding me to continue fighting for my marriage and to CONTINUALLY pray for it! Even if I feel like giving up, that I need to pray. So I have been trying to just do that.

I read this the other day and it's exactly how I feel and one reason I'm tempted not to share. I don't want to stay here, I don't want to seem faithless. We are to find joy in ALL our trials, so how can I admit, I'm struggling with that?:

Dear God, I am so sorry for being discouraged. I know it is just a process of grieving and working through pain in my life, but I don't want to get stuck here. I don't want to appear faithless to those around me. Please, help me to live victoriously through the power of Your Holy Spirit. Please, show me the way, and bring the word of Your unfailing love to me, that I may be comforted and that I may be a living testimony for You. Thank you, Lord, in Jesus' name. Amen.

I think it would be a good time to finish our 30 Days of Gratitude. *smile*

What has God been doing in your life lately?


For His Glory,

Wise Woman Christmas Shopping Guide

I just want to bring to everyone's attention that:

A Wise Woman Builds Her Home put together a Christmas Shopping Guide!

My Etsy shop: Natural Kiss is listed on the Christmas Shopping Guide! So Exciting! *smile*

If you "like" my Facebook Page or follow me on Etsy you'll get notified of of sales and new products being posted. Which I am working hard to get new goodies. up and posted. 

I love that she is promoting home businesses! What a great idea to help promote some of those businesses.There are some really nice shops...
So go on over and check out the Christmas Shopping Guide.

I also wanted to pass on the word that Lilla Rose is having a sale!! 


Which reminds me Lilla Rose would make a beautiful gift! If you are interested in purchasing a Lilla Rose product, would you please order through me?! Please! *smile* 

My website is: Lilla Rose and my facebook page.

Have you started your Christmas shopping? Family is already asking me so I have to think about it. ;)

For His Glory,

Choosing Gratitude Day 7

Day 7

Luke 17:11–15

As you read today’s passage, notice some things 

about the leper who returned to thank Jesus.


First, he came loudly. He couldn’t contain his 

gratitude. This occasion called for an unrestrained, 

extreme, public display of thanks.

Second, he came close. The ten lepers “stood at a 

distance” (v. 12) from Jesus—lepers were 

ceremonially defiled and weren't allowed to come 

close to those who were “clean.” The healed leper 

who “fell on his face at Jesus’ feet, giving him thanks” 

(v. 16) was the only one of the ten who ever got 

close to Jesus. Gratitude places us in close proximity 

to Christ, where we experience the fullness of His 

redeeming power and enjoy the blessing of His 

presence.

Third, he came from a distance. “He was a 

Samaritan” (v. 16). This man had never known the 

true God until Jesus came into his world and 

transformed his life. After being separated from Jesus 

by a religious, cultural, and physical gulf, he loved 

what he saw in Jesus. 


Gratitude will draw you close to Jesus. Look for an 

opportunity today to thank the Lord for what He has 

done in your life—aloud, and in the presence of 

others.


My plan is to praise God in front of my husband and 

kids for things the Lord has done. But also for things 

they have done. I want my kids to see me praising 

the Lord and speaking highly of Him throughout our 

"normal" day.


Who did you show gratitude to?


For His Glory,

Choosing Gratitude Day 6

Day 6

Romans 11:33–36

 Robertson McQuilkin, former president of Columbia International University, 
tells of a time when, following his wife’s diagnosis with Alzheimer’s and the 
death of his eldest son, he retreated alone to a mountain hideaway, trying to 
reorient his heart and recapture a love for God that had slowly evaporated in 
the heat of personal, tragic loss.

After a day devoted to prayer and fasting, he began writing God a love letter, 
enumerating the gifts he had received from the Lord’s hand. He identified ten 
particular blessings from God that just absolutely exceeded his imagination, things he could hardly find words to express how invaluable they were, how impossible life would be without them.

I encourage you to flip back through the lists you’ve been making and choose a top ten—spiritual blessings that are so big, you could never generate enough gratitude to express what they mean to you and what they tell you about your Savior.

The next time your mind is troubled by sad or worrisome thoughts, pull out your top ten and consciously transfer your focus from whatever is weighing you down, and start giving thanks for the things on your list.

I don't about you, but this list is taking me a while. Mainly because I am getting detailed in my answers, so if i look back on it I will Lord willing, fully remember. I'm excited about this list though. It has helped keep me focus on Christ and what He has done in my life.

What about you, how is your list coming along? I would love to hear some of your blessings!

For of Him and through Him and to Him are all things, to whom be glory forever. Ahem. - Psalm 11:36

For His glory,

Choosing Gratitude Day 5

Day 5

Ephesians 5:15–21

     I hope you’re becoming more alert to the many 

reasons you have to be grateful. I remember hearing 

a friend tell how, while brushing his teeth and 

meditating on one of the verses in today’s reading 

(Ephesians 5:20), he was struck by the word 

“everything.” He was reminded of the importance of 

thanking God for even those “little things” that we 

often overlook. It made him pause and be thankful 

for, well … his toothbrush. And his toothpaste. And, 

while he was at it, he thanked God for his teeth, for 

probably the first time in his life.

     This may require another separate list from the 

ones you made yesterday, but it’s definitely a 

category worth considering. Since everything is a gift 

from God (James 1:17), “everything” is something to 

be thankful for. My friend told me he also asked 

himself: “If tomorrow’s supply depended on today’s 

thanksgiving, how much would I have tomorrow?”

What “little things” can you add to the gratitude lists 

you’ve started? 

     

    Some of the items on your“everything” list will 

make you realize you’ve taken certain people in your 

life for granted. Say thank you today in some way.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning. -James 1:17

     This challenge may be familiar to you. I've heard it 

before as well. I don't know about you but list keeps 

growing and could probably be endless. But you get 

the point...EVERYTHING...big and small, is a blessing 

from God. I was thinking of Joni Erickson Tada, and 

am thankful for my mobility, and my families mobility.

What are some ways you can say thank you?

I was thinking I could say it to someone's face, write 

a card, or an e-card. Perhaps do something nice for 

that person or make them a meal. Ideas?

For His Glory,

Choosing Gratitude Day 4

Day 4

Psalm 103:1–5

     As we recognize and identify the specific blessings we have received from 

God and from others, we discover countless reasons for expressing gratitude. 

The psalmist took time to bless the Lord for specific benefits—he didn’t want 

to forget even one of them! As you open your heart to Him in prayer today, 

ask God to reveal to you just how great your “benefits package” really is.

     Make two lists under these headings: “Gifts from God” and “Gifts from 

Others.” Then put down everything that comes to mind. Don’t try forcing this 

into a one-time, ten-minute exercise—stop and start as it seems natural. 

Keep adding to these lists as additional gifts come to mind over the next 

thirty days (and beyond).

     
     After you’ve written out a list of your blessings, take some time to walk 

through your list line by line, thanking God for each of these “benefits.” Then, 

read Psalm 103 aloud. Try memorizing and meditating on at least the first 

five verses over the next week or so.

Bless the Lord, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless His Holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits; Who forgives all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from destruction, who crowns you loving kindness and tender mercies, who satisfies your mouth with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. -Psalm 107:1-5

For His Glory,

Choosing Gratitude Day 3

Day 3 Psalm 107:1–32      The theme of Psalm 107 (stated in the first two verses) is followed by four “personal testimonies”—illustrations of those who have been redeemed by the Lord and have reason to give Him thanks. Each testimony includes a similar progression: distress—the straits people found themselves in; a desperate cry to the Lord for help; and Divine deliverance. The passage is punctuated by a response—a “thanksgiving chorus” that is repeated at the end of each testimony.      Today, write out your personal testimony of God’s saving grace, following the progression found in Psalm 107. What was your life like before He redeemed you? How did God bring you to the end of yourself, to the place where you cried out to Him for mercy? What has changed since He delivered you from your slavery to sin?      If you have additional time, write another brief testimony of a time subsequent to your initial salvation, when you were in distress, you cried out to the Lord, and He came to your rescue.      Then share your story (His story) with someone else today. Tell them how grateful you are to the Lord for saving you—eternally, as well as daily.      I don't know about you, but I enjoyed today's challenge! I was saved as a little girl, but turned my back on God for about a year. God used that time to bring me to my knees and has continued to do so. It certainly hasn't been easy, but when we sin the consequences are never easy. Praise be to God, He has used it to sanctify me!       There have been other times, such as when I was in the hospital wondering if i might lose Josiah or my life. My husband living far away was another.      Of course there are some that are still in process. Such as losing our precious Emma, my husband being up here (it is COMPLETELY different and I am constantly crying out for the Lord to make me a more godly wife and show us how to work and live together *smile*), and of course unemployment has been the biggest trial.But I have chosen to trust God and want to give HIM the glory-DURING and AFTER. What about you? I would love to hear your testimony. Or share it with someone else. If you have time read 1 Thes. 5:16-18 then listen to, The Bouquet of Thorns. I want to challenge you, to begin to thank God for the thorns; to consider the thorns a blessing; to see God's purpose and hand in bringing thorns into our lives. -Nancy For His Glory,