A Different Kind of Flower

For my sweet Josiah...

A Different Kind Of Flower

She had been so depressed after the birth. Depressed and guilty and 

angry. She had been so good all through the pregnancy; it just wasn't 

fair. Her baby wasn't perfect. Her baby had a cleft. 

The front door closed in the other room. She knew her husband was home. 

He was later today than usual. Looking up, she saw him come into the room. 

He held out to her a gorgeous bouquet of roses. But wait, among the roses 

was one lone orchid. It was a beautiful orchid. With splendid color and 

plump. Lush petals, different from all the other flowers in the bouquet. 

She looked at her husband and stroked the errant bloom. 

"What's this?" she asked him. 

"Honey," he said as he sat beside her, "this flower is our son. Every

other baby in the nursery had rose-bud lips. But his lips were open, like

the petals of this orchid. Everybody else had a rosebud, but we had the only

orchid in the bunch. I just wanted you to see how beautiful an orchid is,

even among the rosebuds." 

She smiled. The orchid was beautiful after all. How could she ever had 

missed the beauty of the orchid among the rosebuds? 

- Joanne Green 

Josiah at this point. :)

For His Glory,

Surgery Again

Smiling even at 4am!

Hello everyone!


     I'm so sorry it's been so long since my last post. I have been getting terrible headaches and promised my husband i wouldn't sit in front of the computer as much.


     We were on vacation visiting my husband's family down in Mississippi and I expected to have time while there but alas, I did not! But it was for a good reason, God answered a prayer of mine, which I will share later.


     I wanted to share with you all yesterday, but was so very tired and busy. As I write this my son is in having surgery. I am SO tired! I have been up since 3:30am and didn't sleep well last night. But Lord willing, I will have time and the energy to work on some posts I have been wanting to share with you all.

Tired but still smiling.

     I wanted to ask you all for prayer for my son, but he is already in having surgery. I am trusting God that everything will go just fine! So far his past surgeries have gone smoothly (previously there was a higher risk, but his lungs have matured. Praise GOD!), and the first surgery this morning went smoothly. They got the i.v. in with no problem and got his ear tubes in. About 45 minutes later I got an update that they were JUST starting his palate repair surgery! The surgeon is the best around and a perfectionist, so I am NOT complaining. *smile* It means he wanted everything to be just so, before starting. It is going to be several more hours, about four to be precise.

Waiting to go in for surgery.

      I just wanted to ask for prayer, that everything will go well. That Josiah wont be in a ton of pain and that he wont have any eating or respiratory issues. After the last surgery God answered my hearts prayer and we had a nice roommate and I could get some rest. I pray our stay will once again go smoothly and he and I can rest while we are here. Please also pray that Josiah will handle not being able to stick his fingers in his mouth (his favorite thing to do for comfort and falling asleep) and have arm braces on for 6 weeks! During the first surgery I was worried how he would handle not being able to use his pacifier to fall asleep (the nurses in the NICU got him hooked on it, which drove me crazy! ;) ). God answered the concern in an unexpected way. Josiah almost immediately learned that he could bring his hands to his mouth and learned to suck on his two middles fingers. So cute! *smile* So I know if we ask Him, He can and will provide a comfort for Josiah, that I wouldn't even think of.  Our God is such a loving and caring God!

"Rock On"

Thank you for praying with me!


What is a way that God has answered a prayer for you?




For His glory,

Going Home

Josiah's wonderful nurse attending to him.

Can I tell you a secret?!

I’m scared to go home tomorrow! I’ve never felt this way! I miss my girls and want to see them, but I feel so inadequate to care for Josiah.

The nurse thinks’ I’m silly. She says there’s no extra work. But he’s uncomfortable and he cannot snuggle the way he likes to, due to his swollen, stitched up lips!

I’m scared I’ll hurt him trying to clean it or what if something happens and the stitches tear? He has a deep cough, what if it get’s worse and he has to be hospitalized?

The fears and worries swirl around me! But God is bigger then all that!! Praise the LORD! *smile*

I know ultimately it will be ok! I am resting in my Father’s arms and I’m trusting in His goodness.

Have you been scared of a particular situation?

For His Glory,

Surgery II

Little man is still happy even after not being allowed to eat. :)

            The day is finally here! My son is having his “second” surgery (second since coming home from the NICU).

            Yesterday was mingled with preparations, excitement, nerves, exhaustion, and anticipation.

            It felt like this morning would never come and I couldn’t imagine how I would ever fall asleep.

            One by one my two girls and I came down with colds (still not convinced that it’s not allergies) and was worried that Josiah would get sick.

           

1.      It could be life threatening to him and he could be hospitalized.

2.      It could prevent the surgery and postpone it to a later date.

We didn’t want either of those things to happen! Praise the Lord, God kept him

safe! He sounded a little sniffily, but his stats are great and they said his lung sound clear, so they gave the green light.

            Today he is having 3 surgeries. Which are:

1.      The lathim device is being removed.

2.      They are taking out the PEG tube and putting in a more “mature” styled, Mikki tube.

3.      Then Plastic surgery is doing the first lip repair for his cleft lip.

We are excited once the device is removed, we can start to move forward with stimulating his oral feeds. He exclusively eats through the tube, which is not good.

            The PEG tube was long and he was starting to grab at it., we didn’t want him to pulled it out! The Mikki tube is more work for me, but better for him. *smile*

            So excited that we are moving forward with repairing th cleft lip and palate. It’s bitter sweet, he is sooooo darn cute and it’s weird to imagine him looking any different. Psst…can I tell you a secret?! I’m scared to see him! He’s going to look different. I’m expecting him to have stitches on his lips and last time he had a crazy scared look on his face after waking up from the anesthesia.  But, it’s for the better! He still has two more surgeries to go within this first year.

            Please keep our little man in prayer, that there will be no complications, everything will heal quickly, and he won’t be in a lot of pain (they had to be careful with the pain meds, since he was born so very early)! Thank you!

What are you all doing today?

I see you! Josiah in Pre-Op.

For His glory,

After Surgery

Sleeping after surgery.

The surgery is done! Praise the Lord! It was suppose to only take a ½ hour…it took 1 ½ hours!! I was getting really nervous, so my husband and mother in-law prayed with me over the phone and two minutes later the doctor showed up. *smile* The Lord is so good! It took that long because they had a very hard time getting an I.V. into him (evidence of all the red pricks covering his hands).

These two verses came to mind when God so graciously answered our prayer quickly:

Now we know that God does not hear sinners; but if anyone is a worshiper of God and does His will, He hears him. John 9:31

Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know. Jeremiah 33:3

            Seeing him in the recovery pod for the first time was shocking and nerve rattling. It’s a big room with rows of beds and curtains dividing each bed. There was a flurry of nurses working on getting him settled. One nurse was holding him and he looked completely freaked out (which is so hard to watch with my little baby). I know it was because he was still drugged up, but it was startling. I snuggled with him and got him calmed down. Amazingly he we didn’t cry, they said babies usually scream and cry. He is such a little trooper!

God is so gracious and had Josiah sleep for the most part. I am so thankful; they said he would be cranky. He was only fussy for about a ½ hour after got to the room, but he was hungry. The poor little man hadn’t eaten since 2am!! He fell back asleep after eating. *smile*

I have to share with you how merciful and generous God was (of course He always is), originally we had a roommate and to my worry it wasn’t another baby, but a mom and her son (if it was another baby, then the parent would be in the same boat, with a crying baby). I knew it would be a stressful and long night if Josiah cried a lot and bothered them and kept them up. Well, the women didn’t like sharing the room with us, she kept complaining to the nurse. Wait! I must interject and state that we where there only about a ½ hour!! The nurses where getting us settled in and he woke, was hungry, and there for a little fussy (he was NOT outright crying, just fussing) and then fell back asleep. She wouldn’t leave them alone, so as soon as there was another room available they were moved! Ha! I win! *laugh* (BUT, I also must admit that my pride was wounded and offended that she wanted to move, which was wrong and had to ask God for forgiveness.) We had the room to our self and when he was up during the night I was the only one disturbed!! Praise the Lord! Isn’t it wonderful and amazing that God cares about the little things, such as a momma worrying about disturbing someone else?!

Sing praises to the Lord, who dwells in Zion! Declare His deeds among the people. Psalm 9:11

I’m just going to say it…I struggle with patience! I wish I was more like my husband and patient! I have decided that God is using my hospital visits to teach me patience. *smile* We have had many hospital visits within this past year; between our miscarriage, our oldest getting lyme disease and being hospitalized, my appendicitis, ultimately being put on bed rest in the hospital while pregnant, Josiah’s 4 months in the NICU, and lastly his surgery. Whew! That’s a lot! And to think there will be more surgeries. *smile*

            If you have ever spent anytime in a hospital you will know what I mean when I say that people are ALWAYS coming in!! Between doctors checking in; people cleaning; food being delivered; if you have a roommate, everyone that comes in for them; and the nurses constantly taking vitals. You CAN’T get any rest!! I’m going to tell you a secret….when I don’t get enough sleep I get cranky and impatient! Did I say that out loud?! *smile* Wait…I’m not the only one?? I’m so glad to know that! BUT, that doesn’t make it OK!

            God is a patient god and we are to always be working towards becoming more and more like Him. “But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness.”  Tim. 6:11 “Now may the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into patience of Christ.” 2 Thess. 3:5 What is one of the fruits of the Spirit? Patience! (Gal. 5:22)  God doesn’t say, “be patient, unless your tired then forget it.” He tells us to have patience within our trials (2 Thess. 1:4, 2 Cor. 6:4, James 1:3, etc.) and that our trials produce patience (James 1:4).

I had to remember that when the nurse comes in and it wakes me (or the child I am with) that she/he is not intentionally (well, I hope not *wink*) trying to wake us. He/she is just trying to do their job and am thankful they care and are keeping an eye on things. I would catch myself feeling “snippy” and would stop and ask myself if I was reflecting God within my thoughts, attitude, and actions.

What the latham device looks like from the outside.

For His glory, 

Latham Surgery

Josiah in his hospital gown, before surgery.

As I write this I am so tired! I can barely keep my eyes open. I am sitting here in the family waiting area at Children’s Hospital in Boston, waiting for Josiah to get out of surgery.

Praise the Lord we made it safely and I remembered to give him all his meds! Hooray! Talk about trying to stress a momma out. They told me he would have to have five doses of his inhaler for today to help his lungs not freak out in reaction to the anesthesia. This morning they told me he could still react. Plus he suffers from nasty acid reflux, due to the g-tube. It’s not acid reflux like you or I would get. It comes out his nose and mouth and I have a hospital grade suction machine. You literally stick a tube done his nose. Not fun! The anesthesia could cause him to have reflux and he could aspirate. So, yeah just a little scary! *smile*

A friend reminded me of a verse that helps her when her son s dealing with his medical issues. “You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” Isaiah 26:3 I thank God for the perfect peace. He has given it to me time and time again through my pregnancy and trials with Josiah. I wouldn’t make it without God’s peace!

Josiah is having a Latham device inserted into the roof of his mouth (first of many surgeries for his cleft palate and lip). It will be in for six LONG weeks. They said he will be cranky and in pain. At times I feel like I can’t handle another thing “thrown” at me, such as, right now. I am so tired, how am I going to handle a cranky baby, house, homeschooling and two more children. God always amazes me with HIS strength and grace that carries me through.

I have no idea how anyone who doesn’t rely on God survives. Between the worry, stress and exhaustion, I wouldn’t make it without God! I am so physically and emotionally drained. Plus, I found out I’m in for a LONG night here at the hospital. I thought he would sleep from the meds all night. Perhaps God will be merciful and allow him and me to sleep. Even if He doesn’t I know that God knows best and He will carry me through.

God tells us (even in this new trial) that we are to “count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. Nut let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete lacking nothing.” James 1:2-4  

I am thankful that God allowed Josiah to live! I am thankful for his strength and grace! I’m thankful, because it could be a lot worse!

Driving in this morning once again through one of my kids songs God reminded me that Josiah is in the best hands possible….his LORD and Creator!

HE has the whole world in His hands

He’s got the little bitty baby in His hands.

He has Josiah (and me and you) in HIS hands!! There is NO better place to be!

What about you? What are you struggling with? Don’t forget to lay it at the feet of the cross. He will lift you up and carry you through it!

For His glory,